Judge this, prick!

Like I said before, I don’t watch much TV anymore.

Well the problem begins when I am sitting at home sometimes, and someone else is watching TV. And that leads to accidental exposure to the true opioid of the masses.

Well I don’t grudge other people their entertainment… My policy is pretty much live and let live and stay out of others way unless it actually concerns you. But recently I ended up accidentally watching a couple of TV “talent hunt” shows.

Man, humanity is insane, retarded, illogical, fucking crazy – I’ve come to accept that, and I love my fellow man nevertheless… But WOW, man, wow. Yesterday was the first time I actually felt physically ill while watching TV.

The latest addition to the long list of things I hate? Arrogant, douchebag TV judges.

I remember this whole stream of bullshit on Indian TV started way back with the original Indian idol – a rip off of American idol where Simon Cowell plays the douchebag, the judge who is “cutting edge” and “tells it like it is”.

The gimmick worked, and American Idol made money… And so the Indian version had to rip it off, had to have judges who were douchebags as well. And thus started the trend. Have you seen the average judge in a “talent hunt” TV series nowadays? There’s usually three of them, all B-grade celebrities themselves, some of them without an ounce of talent. There’s usually one douchebag who insults everyone, one smily happy girl who loves everyone, and one “voice of reason”. This American Idol formula has made its way into every Reality TV show.

And then they judge people.

Now I wouldn’t mind the judging if inherent in the judging was the understanding that a person can only be judged by an EXPERT in the particular field which he is involved in. So if I am a singer, it takes a singer to judge me, right? If you’re not a singer or a professor who wrote books on the art of singing, get lost. You can’t judge me. You don’t know what you’re talking about. At the very maximum you can like or dislike what you hear. But musical taste is subjective, man. Your opinion does not count as a judging. So, for instance, I don’t really enjoy metal music, but does that mean that if Metallica performs in front of me, I have the right to say “Man, this is the worst band i ever heard. This is a waste of my time, they have no talent whatsoever!”

No, of course I can’t. Yet here, we have the epitome of being a retard: There’s actresses judging singers!! Has humanity gone completely insane? Going by the principle that you can only judge what you’re an expert in, these actresses can pretty much only judge strippers… Or maybe other actresses. But an actress cannot judge a singer. It’s that simple.

And then, they humiliate people.

Yeah, it was real funny on TV, the judges taunting the contestants who “sucked” and telling them off for “wasting their time”. Real funny. These were kids who stood in eight-hour long queues, practiced for months, maybe years. Young kids, 16-17 years old, who had dreams and hopes which had been crushed and it wasn’t enough to just tell them “No kid, I’m sorry, your dream is not going to happen.” No, you have to humiliate them on national tv? And “wasting your time”? For Christ’s sake, aren’t you getting paid to listen to them? You are just doing what you’re getting paid to do. You aren’t doing them a favour by listening to them. Control your fucking ego.

It’s all hypocrisy, man. These pricks would never treat one of their own that way. I remember a celebrity dance show and the judges used to treat the contestants with kid gloves… No one ever got less than 8/10 points and every soft, weak, powerless criticism was delivered with a qualifier that the performance was “still totally awesome”. Its only a bunch of nobodies who have their dreams crushed and get insulted on national TV, and the retarded populace of India applauds it as “hardcore honest reality TV.” jump off a bridge, sheep.